DEMO GIVEAWAY WINNERS!
We got a ton of entries and it was a tough choice, but we have our winners. These were the entries that seemed the most original, creative, or just plain funny of the bunch. Enjoy.
Winners: we will contact you by e-mail to work out the details.
GRAND PRIZE WINNER: DEMO GIVEAWAY!
Grand Prize: One each of CHANNEL ZERO, PUBLIC DOMAIN, CHANNEL ZERO: JENNIE ONE, the two COURIERS volumes, a CHANNEL ZERO T-shirt, five DEMOs, the original art from the two-page splash page of the Schaff from PLANET OF THE CAPES, a six-issue subscription to DIGITAL WEBBING PRESENTS, and four back issues of DIGITAL WEBBING PRESENTS
And the winner is….
Jason Baldwin
I'd want the ability to talk to corn. This includes
(but isn't limited to) wild corn, Indian corn, corn
flakes, corn bread, and even the corn that magically
survives the entire digestive process. But not the
band Korn because I'm older than 13 and I have taste
in music.
Apparently there are a MILLION uses for corn. At
least, according to this website here.
I'd use this power for my own personal gain, of
course. Can you imagine the things people say and do
in front of corn without even realizing that the corn
is PAYING ATTENTION? Rest assured it is, and I'd be
able to learn everything. Why do you think they call
them EARS of corn? Ever thought about that?
What'd the President have to say over breakfast?
What's crazy farmer Steve doing in his field before
sunset? I'd know because I could freaking TALK TO
CORN!
It'd be BLACKMAIL CITY, baby. I'd even know what
you're hiding, which is why you MIGHT want to award
the grand prize to me. I'm just sayin'.
------------------------------------------------
FIRST PRIZE WINNER: DEMO GIVEAWAY!
First Prize: One each of CHANNEL ZERO, PUBLIC DOMAIN, CHANNEL ZERO: JENNIE ONE, the two COURIERS volumes, a CHANNEL ZERO T-shirt, five DEMOs, and four back issues of DIGITAL WEBBING PRESENTS
And the first prize winner is….
Horace Constant
The ability to fly would get you chewed up in a plane’s turbine. The ability to turn invisible would eventually find you dead, naked in a field, with no one to find your corpse. The superpower of super intelligence would leave you vulnerable to an attack from the football team. Super Strength would leave you vulnerable to an attack from the Chess Club.
Are there no perfect superpowers?
There is one.
If I had one superpower of my choice, I’d choose the ability to evolve, devolve and alter the state of mental consciousness in any and all life-forms. It’s the perfect and most practical ability.
Similar to Abram Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs, Don Beck and Christopher Cowan published a map of the evolution of human consciousness called “Spiral Dynamics,” it outlines the changes in the way the human beings perceive the world around them. As Spiral Dynamics is explained, it will become clear why you’d want to control it.
Spiral Dynamics’ core concept is that humans evolve through a series of changes in their perception, represented by colors. The first stage is Beige.
Beige is a very instinct-based mind frame, the primary goals of this tier is survival (food, water, warmth, sex, safety).
Having trouble asking out that hottie who works at that trendy bookstore? Knock their consciousness level down to Beige, lead them home with a bucket of chicken, and all they’ll want to do is hop in the sack.
But let’s say you’ve finished – a couple of times– and you want them to leave. Just bump them up to the next stage, Purple.
Purples seems spiritual, but are actually superstitious, they believe in Voodoo-like curses, good/bad luck, and tend to hand around in clans (sports teams, corporate “tribes”, gangs). Tell Mr or Mrs Bookstore that your bed is bad luck and they’ll by gone before you turn on the TV.
Sure, mastery Spiral Dynamics is great for sex, but what if you crave power?
The first step to world domination is an army, and no mind-set will help you out in this department better than Red.
Red is about the distinct emergence of self, impulsive, egocentric, heroic. They believe in the strong protecting the weak, as long as the weak pay tributary to their protectors. Give a Red a gang of Purples and one or two Beige concubines and he’ll lead you to military victory every time. If he steps out of line, bust him down to Purple and watch another Red slap a leash on him.
But how do you keep the Reds in line? Simple, turn someone Blue.
Blue’s believe that life has meaning, but only because some higher force – who sets unbreakable rules of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, and punishes those who disobey – commands them (that’s you!). Impulsively controlled by guilt, and strongly conformist, your Blues will worship you religiously. They’ll tend to the Reds and make your transition to Tsar of the Globe a smooth one.
The next stage is Orange. Feeling they’ve escaped the herd, these people seek individual meaning (usually scientific), and are convinced they can control the world – it’s resources and inhabitants – like chess pieces; they will see their alliance with you as strategic. Though great for finance and strategy, they could turn on you if they see a better opportunity, which is when you’d either devolve them backwards, or push them upwards into Green.
Green is the stage you’d set everyone, if you were interested in world peace (you know, if you’re into that sort of thing). They’re all about feelings, caring, sensitivity, establishing lateral bonds, harmony, diversity. If you ever get bored of the bloody struggle to control the planet, just turn your enemies Green and watch them toss away their weapons.
The next stage is Yellow, and if you used your powers to do any of the stuff listed, it’ll be a long time before you ever reach this level. Yellows believe in the Kaleidoscope of life, accepting all levels as they are, recognizing that the transition from one level to the next is as important as the level itself.
Not only would the complete control of Spiral Dynamics help with sex and world domination/peace, it would also help you with life’s little things. Have you ever had an argument with someone, and no matter how long or bitter
you debated it seemed you just weren’t connecting with each other? That’s probably because you’re at different levels. For example, if, fiscally, you’re a Red, but they’re a Blue, there will be a clash. A little tweaking could put you on the same tier as one another; not homogenising your thoughts, but allowing them to compete on even ground, being accepted or rejected on their merit, rather than the predetermined bias of the parties
involved.
Mastering Spiral Dynamics in yourself and others is the only superpower you’d need.
For more info on Spiral Dynamics, check out “A Theory Of Everything” by Ken Wilber (it’s cheaper and easier to find than “Spiral Dynamics” by Don Beck and Chris Cowan, but equally detailed).
------------------------------------------------
SECOND PRIZE WINNER: DEMO GIVEAWAY!
Second Prize: CHANNEL ZERO: JENNIE ONE, the five DEMOs (the Becky Cloonan Pack), and four back issues of DIGITAL WEBBING PRESENTS
And the second prize winner is….
Mike Black
Is there any super power in the world better than Solipsism? I could call myself Mike Black: The World Changing Man and sell a comic - it'd be great.
Really, it would change the world if I had the power to erm, change the world. I'd probably make it so Danzig never left the Misfits, thus negating twenty years of crap (from either side in various instances). Next on my list would probably to subtly change the world from day to day. Let my subconscious run wild, as one day it rains liquor, the next people's mouths would start at their chin and run vertically to their foreheads. Eventually things would look not unlike Grant Morrison were god. I'd slowly go insane, trying to remember how things were, but I would have deigned that I could not remember how to change them back. A wild ride as mongoloids become the "in fashion," I stopped stubbing my toe, and daily viewings of the tape of Jesus, Ghandi, and Cobra Commander publicly beat the shit out of Brian Pullido ran on TV's everywhere.
You know how great solipsism would be? I could change it so I never really wrote this letter, and still got the Demo T-shirt and back issues - which is all I'm hoping for.
And, oh yeah, I would play Risk with Joe Strummer, The Reverend Horton Heat, Mojo Nixon, and Dimebag Darrel on Thursdays. Because I'm the only one who exists, and I created the universe.
------------------------------------------------
THIRD PRIZE WINNER: DEMO GIVEAWAY!
Third Prize: five DEMOS, and four back issues of DIGITAL WEBBING PRESENTS
And the third prize winner is….
Greg Elwell
If I was going to have any superpower, I wouldn't want total recall, but I'd probably end up with it in some sort of karmic retribution for not letting a guy merge into traffic or that time I shaved my name into my neighbor's unsuspecting dog. Basically, total recall means I can remember anything I'm told, have seen or done, read or thought about, which sounds good and all as a reporter, but could be a nightmare in every other aspect of my life.
Think about this: You're having sex with your wife or your girlfriend or your wife's girlfriend and you're trying to reach that perfect moment before you become disinterested in talking or touching or anything but eating a sandwich and watching Newsradio reruns. But you suddenly recall all those times you couldn't get turned on or the times you were turned on by things that creep you out, all of it in vivid clarity. I'd never be able to eat meat again after mentally reliving the time I made friends with a cow or my hasty reading of Sinclair's "The Jungle." TV would become instantly boring, as would my comic collection, since I would not only remember everything I'd seen or read, but probably would be able to figure out exactly what was coming next since most modern fiction is just the same thing, over and over, with different actors.
I don't think I could use my power for evil unless I got super smart along with the recall. I'd remember what it sounded like when the security guard punched in the code to the vault, but I doubt I could work it out for myself.
In fact, there's a good chance total recall could only get me in trouble, as every fight with my wife would not only include all the things she told me correctly, but also all the stupid things I shouldn't have said that validates her argument.
I knew I should have chosen "lazer dick" for my power. Nobody messes with a lazer dick.
------------------------------------------------
FOURTH PRIZE WINNER: DEMO GIVEAWAY!
Fourth Prize: one old SCURVY DOGS #2 that's been kicking around the office, and four back issues of DIGITAL WEBBING PRESENTS
And the fourth prize winner is….
W.M. Heeney
I'm gonna keep this short and sweet, since it's 3:30 in the morning. I would be able to fire midgets from my hands.
Yeah, midgets.
I mean what good are they for, except to be tossed for sport, or used as some kind of ammunition?
I can just hear it now. *THOOM ....aaaaAAAAAAHI'M NOT A MIDGET I'M A DWARRRRRRrrrrrfsplat*
And maybe on St. Patrick's Day my special Luck O' the Irish powers will kick in and turn them into gold-seeking leprechauns, with fuckin' rainbow tracer trails. Faith and begora! Good lord.
------------------------------------------------
We have a special prize that John Jakala from Grotesque Anatomy has decided to bless us with.
SPECIAL PRIZE WINNER: DEMO GIVEAWAY!
Special Prize: DEMO 1-5, PLANET OF THE CAPES, and the ASTRONAUTS IN TROUBLE HC
And the special prize winner is...
Lee Post
Winners: we will contact you by e-mail to work out the details.
GRAND PRIZE WINNER: DEMO GIVEAWAY!
Grand Prize: One each of CHANNEL ZERO, PUBLIC DOMAIN, CHANNEL ZERO: JENNIE ONE, the two COURIERS volumes, a CHANNEL ZERO T-shirt, five DEMOs, the original art from the two-page splash page of the Schaff from PLANET OF THE CAPES, a six-issue subscription to DIGITAL WEBBING PRESENTS, and four back issues of DIGITAL WEBBING PRESENTS
And the winner is….
Jason Baldwin
I'd want the ability to talk to corn. This includes
(but isn't limited to) wild corn, Indian corn, corn
flakes, corn bread, and even the corn that magically
survives the entire digestive process. But not the
band Korn because I'm older than 13 and I have taste
in music.
Apparently there are a MILLION uses for corn. At
least, according to this website here.
I'd use this power for my own personal gain, of
course. Can you imagine the things people say and do
in front of corn without even realizing that the corn
is PAYING ATTENTION? Rest assured it is, and I'd be
able to learn everything. Why do you think they call
them EARS of corn? Ever thought about that?
What'd the President have to say over breakfast?
What's crazy farmer Steve doing in his field before
sunset? I'd know because I could freaking TALK TO
CORN!
It'd be BLACKMAIL CITY, baby. I'd even know what
you're hiding, which is why you MIGHT want to award
the grand prize to me. I'm just sayin'.
------------------------------------------------
FIRST PRIZE WINNER: DEMO GIVEAWAY!
First Prize: One each of CHANNEL ZERO, PUBLIC DOMAIN, CHANNEL ZERO: JENNIE ONE, the two COURIERS volumes, a CHANNEL ZERO T-shirt, five DEMOs, and four back issues of DIGITAL WEBBING PRESENTS
And the first prize winner is….
Horace Constant
The ability to fly would get you chewed up in a plane’s turbine. The ability to turn invisible would eventually find you dead, naked in a field, with no one to find your corpse. The superpower of super intelligence would leave you vulnerable to an attack from the football team. Super Strength would leave you vulnerable to an attack from the Chess Club.
Are there no perfect superpowers?
There is one.
If I had one superpower of my choice, I’d choose the ability to evolve, devolve and alter the state of mental consciousness in any and all life-forms. It’s the perfect and most practical ability.
Similar to Abram Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs, Don Beck and Christopher Cowan published a map of the evolution of human consciousness called “Spiral Dynamics,” it outlines the changes in the way the human beings perceive the world around them. As Spiral Dynamics is explained, it will become clear why you’d want to control it.
Spiral Dynamics’ core concept is that humans evolve through a series of changes in their perception, represented by colors. The first stage is Beige.
Beige is a very instinct-based mind frame, the primary goals of this tier is survival (food, water, warmth, sex, safety).
Having trouble asking out that hottie who works at that trendy bookstore? Knock their consciousness level down to Beige, lead them home with a bucket of chicken, and all they’ll want to do is hop in the sack.
But let’s say you’ve finished – a couple of times– and you want them to leave. Just bump them up to the next stage, Purple.
Purples seems spiritual, but are actually superstitious, they believe in Voodoo-like curses, good/bad luck, and tend to hand around in clans (sports teams, corporate “tribes”, gangs). Tell Mr or Mrs Bookstore that your bed is bad luck and they’ll by gone before you turn on the TV.
Sure, mastery Spiral Dynamics is great for sex, but what if you crave power?
The first step to world domination is an army, and no mind-set will help you out in this department better than Red.
Red is about the distinct emergence of self, impulsive, egocentric, heroic. They believe in the strong protecting the weak, as long as the weak pay tributary to their protectors. Give a Red a gang of Purples and one or two Beige concubines and he’ll lead you to military victory every time. If he steps out of line, bust him down to Purple and watch another Red slap a leash on him.
But how do you keep the Reds in line? Simple, turn someone Blue.
Blue’s believe that life has meaning, but only because some higher force – who sets unbreakable rules of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, and punishes those who disobey – commands them (that’s you!). Impulsively controlled by guilt, and strongly conformist, your Blues will worship you religiously. They’ll tend to the Reds and make your transition to Tsar of the Globe a smooth one.
The next stage is Orange. Feeling they’ve escaped the herd, these people seek individual meaning (usually scientific), and are convinced they can control the world – it’s resources and inhabitants – like chess pieces; they will see their alliance with you as strategic. Though great for finance and strategy, they could turn on you if they see a better opportunity, which is when you’d either devolve them backwards, or push them upwards into Green.
Green is the stage you’d set everyone, if you were interested in world peace (you know, if you’re into that sort of thing). They’re all about feelings, caring, sensitivity, establishing lateral bonds, harmony, diversity. If you ever get bored of the bloody struggle to control the planet, just turn your enemies Green and watch them toss away their weapons.
The next stage is Yellow, and if you used your powers to do any of the stuff listed, it’ll be a long time before you ever reach this level. Yellows believe in the Kaleidoscope of life, accepting all levels as they are, recognizing that the transition from one level to the next is as important as the level itself.
Not only would the complete control of Spiral Dynamics help with sex and world domination/peace, it would also help you with life’s little things. Have you ever had an argument with someone, and no matter how long or bitter
you debated it seemed you just weren’t connecting with each other? That’s probably because you’re at different levels. For example, if, fiscally, you’re a Red, but they’re a Blue, there will be a clash. A little tweaking could put you on the same tier as one another; not homogenising your thoughts, but allowing them to compete on even ground, being accepted or rejected on their merit, rather than the predetermined bias of the parties
involved.
Mastering Spiral Dynamics in yourself and others is the only superpower you’d need.
For more info on Spiral Dynamics, check out “A Theory Of Everything” by Ken Wilber (it’s cheaper and easier to find than “Spiral Dynamics” by Don Beck and Chris Cowan, but equally detailed).
------------------------------------------------
SECOND PRIZE WINNER: DEMO GIVEAWAY!
Second Prize: CHANNEL ZERO: JENNIE ONE, the five DEMOs (the Becky Cloonan Pack), and four back issues of DIGITAL WEBBING PRESENTS
And the second prize winner is….
Mike Black
Is there any super power in the world better than Solipsism? I could call myself Mike Black: The World Changing Man and sell a comic - it'd be great.
Really, it would change the world if I had the power to erm, change the world. I'd probably make it so Danzig never left the Misfits, thus negating twenty years of crap (from either side in various instances). Next on my list would probably to subtly change the world from day to day. Let my subconscious run wild, as one day it rains liquor, the next people's mouths would start at their chin and run vertically to their foreheads. Eventually things would look not unlike Grant Morrison were god. I'd slowly go insane, trying to remember how things were, but I would have deigned that I could not remember how to change them back. A wild ride as mongoloids become the "in fashion," I stopped stubbing my toe, and daily viewings of the tape of Jesus, Ghandi, and Cobra Commander publicly beat the shit out of Brian Pullido ran on TV's everywhere.
You know how great solipsism would be? I could change it so I never really wrote this letter, and still got the Demo T-shirt and back issues - which is all I'm hoping for.
And, oh yeah, I would play Risk with Joe Strummer, The Reverend Horton Heat, Mojo Nixon, and Dimebag Darrel on Thursdays. Because I'm the only one who exists, and I created the universe.
------------------------------------------------
THIRD PRIZE WINNER: DEMO GIVEAWAY!
Third Prize: five DEMOS, and four back issues of DIGITAL WEBBING PRESENTS
And the third prize winner is….
Greg Elwell
If I was going to have any superpower, I wouldn't want total recall, but I'd probably end up with it in some sort of karmic retribution for not letting a guy merge into traffic or that time I shaved my name into my neighbor's unsuspecting dog. Basically, total recall means I can remember anything I'm told, have seen or done, read or thought about, which sounds good and all as a reporter, but could be a nightmare in every other aspect of my life.
Think about this: You're having sex with your wife or your girlfriend or your wife's girlfriend and you're trying to reach that perfect moment before you become disinterested in talking or touching or anything but eating a sandwich and watching Newsradio reruns. But you suddenly recall all those times you couldn't get turned on or the times you were turned on by things that creep you out, all of it in vivid clarity. I'd never be able to eat meat again after mentally reliving the time I made friends with a cow or my hasty reading of Sinclair's "The Jungle." TV would become instantly boring, as would my comic collection, since I would not only remember everything I'd seen or read, but probably would be able to figure out exactly what was coming next since most modern fiction is just the same thing, over and over, with different actors.
I don't think I could use my power for evil unless I got super smart along with the recall. I'd remember what it sounded like when the security guard punched in the code to the vault, but I doubt I could work it out for myself.
In fact, there's a good chance total recall could only get me in trouble, as every fight with my wife would not only include all the things she told me correctly, but also all the stupid things I shouldn't have said that validates her argument.
I knew I should have chosen "lazer dick" for my power. Nobody messes with a lazer dick.
------------------------------------------------
FOURTH PRIZE WINNER: DEMO GIVEAWAY!
Fourth Prize: one old SCURVY DOGS #2 that's been kicking around the office, and four back issues of DIGITAL WEBBING PRESENTS
And the fourth prize winner is….
W.M. Heeney
I'm gonna keep this short and sweet, since it's 3:30 in the morning. I would be able to fire midgets from my hands.
Yeah, midgets.
I mean what good are they for, except to be tossed for sport, or used as some kind of ammunition?
I can just hear it now. *THOOM ....aaaaAAAAAAHI'M NOT A MIDGET I'M A DWARRRRRRrrrrrfsplat*
And maybe on St. Patrick's Day my special Luck O' the Irish powers will kick in and turn them into gold-seeking leprechauns, with fuckin' rainbow tracer trails. Faith and begora! Good lord.
------------------------------------------------
We have a special prize that John Jakala from Grotesque Anatomy has decided to bless us with.
SPECIAL PRIZE WINNER: DEMO GIVEAWAY!
Special Prize: DEMO 1-5, PLANET OF THE CAPES, and the ASTRONAUTS IN TROUBLE HC
And the special prize winner is...
Lee Post
